So this is it?

Me: I kena hafal semua nama-nama menteri in Malaysia.

Z: Untuk apa?

Me: Kelas Political Science. Lecturer tu, Sir Mohiyuddin nak tanya esok. Banyak wey.

Z: Apa yang susah sangat? Senang je kot.

Me: Ye lah tu. Meh sini, i tanya you!

Z: Tanya la.

Me: Menteri Kesihatan siapa?

Z: Errr... Errrr.... ala i ingat-ingat lupa. Tapi i tau dia cina. Hah! i tau! Dr. Lim Kok Wing!

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!! :D

I don't need to tell who's room is this. I don't need to tell who is the person i saw on the window when i was talking to him that night. I told him so many times to close the window if he was shirtless at night. This is my life in Matric. 6 years ago, i had a friend. He's more like a big brother. We share our dreams together. His dreams finally came true but sadly, the friendship ended so soon.


I met him in my class. I was ICT student back then before i changed my course to Mass Comm. I don't really remember how we started talking and we exchanged for number and what's the reason. All i know is that, we became closer the more we shared about our secrets and dreams together. He was a brilliant student. All lecturers love him and he's so smart. He knew how i am struggling in my life. And i know that he want to change his life. When his father passed away, i know how hard it is for him to take care of his mother and siblings since he is the eldest. I know that he don't like the life that he is living and he told me that he want to change and be a responsible person. He kept telling me that he wanna get married soon although he still don't know who he wanna marry with.

My hostel is in front of his. I was in Khadijah Hostel so every night when i wanna have dinner, we planned to meet at his hostel's cafe to take away dinner and later we will talked for a while at the public phone booth. At last, we talked for almost one hour while we were still holding our dinner. We talked lots of different things. He told me how much he want to end the relationship with his current girlfriend and i showed him my pictures with my boyfriend and he said that my boyfriend is a good looking guy!

The funny part is, he was so talkative on the phone when he talked with me. He cursed a lot and he make lots of stupid jokes and that's why the conversation never end! But every time when we met each other, he seems different. He kind of a bit quiet and i was the one talking non stop and he just nodded his head, smile, laugh and maybe say few sentences. Until now, i don't know why. When my dad got stroke, he was there to cheer me up and told me don't give up. He was the one that motivated me to work hard after i changed my course. And when my cgpa increased, i told him how happy my dad was when he saw my result.

He went to main campus first and i still have one more semester in Matric. When he told me that he wanna start thinking about marriage, i can't believe it! He said that, it is the only reason for him to change his life. After he got married, he know that he will settle down and have a proper life. That will motivate him to work harder and start thinking about the future, his family and his wife. He need to have something to be responsible for. He want to be the best. I kind of pissed off with him and i told him that you don't need to get married just to change your life. You can change now without getting married. So, after i said that, maybe he realized that i didn't support him. Later we became apart. When i entered main camp, we never hang out together. Just a simple hi and bye and that's it!

One day, i was so surprised when i saw his Facebook. There's lots of photos. He's married. The girl is from UIA too and i think she's in the same course with him. He seems happy. I kind of feel left out that i didn't get the invitation. Then when i saw him in UIA again, i was having my brunch at Babush cafe alone and he was walking there so i approached him. I said congrats and i asked how come i didn't get the invitation. His answer was simple. It was too far away from my home so he assumed that there's no way i can come. I was like, really? For real? From the look on his face i know that the conversation is too awkward and he was smiling all the way to covered up the awkwardness. And i just said it's okay. Congrats anyway. The he walked away.

Few months later, i saw him again. This time he was having lunch with his wife at the cafe so i came to his table and said hye. I was surprised that he didn't introduce me to his wife and i can tell that he felt uneasy of my presence. I feel like so stupid for standing there then i just get out from there. It breaks my heart knowing that the friendship is no longer there. We can't talk like we used to. I know that he's married but that doesn't mean that he has to end the friendship with me. It's not like i am his ex girlfriend or what. We never have a scandal or what so ever. We used to be friends. Now, we do chat sometimes but not that often. But the conversation that we talked about is kind of boring. I miss him. I mean, i miss our friendship. I know that i can't have him all to myself. Somehow he will get married and have his own life. But i don't understand why it is affecting our friendship.

Convocation just over. And it hit me again. So this is it? That's it? So we go separate ways now? Its so sad when i think about it again. He's married now. He has a son. Almost a year. Kind of bizarre to me. But that's the reality. I am so proud of him. He is the best student for his course. All his dreams finally came true. Maybe i was wrong. Marriage did change his life. He is a better man now. But it is sad that i am not in his life no more. But i am still proud of him. I know and i won't be surprise if one day, if i see his face on newspaper or television. He is a genius. He is smart and he has his vision in life. That's why i adore him. Very mature and always think forward. Maybe one day, if i see him on tv, i can say that he is my friend. Used to.

Good luck in your life. It's a pleasure to know you.

P/s: You are the only one that call me by my full name. Hazwani. :)