Don't ever let me go.

We need each other more than anything. I can't never breathe knowing that you're mad at me. I can't live knowing that you're not happy. I'll do anything to be with you and i will always be there to support your back. Im not a perfect lover for you. Im sorry.


You're the one that when i look into your eyes, i know that i wanna be with you despite all your weaknesses. My faith for you, for us, is still strong. I know that one day when i look back, i have made the right decision to be with you.


You are the kind of love that people always write about in a novel. The one that driving you nuts but at the same time, you cant get enough of him. You still feel excited when you're about to meet him. You managed to forgive them although they hurt you before. You're willing to put everything far behind just to move forward with him.


Im not saying that i am a saint. I've made mistakes too. You did too. You did hurt me sometimes. There are times when i asked myself. What i want from you. I want someone to be with me through thick and thin. I know it will always be him. He always there when i need help and i love him even more.


I want you to be the person next to me when i woke up in the morning. When we were 17, you said that if we get married later, you want me to prepare a nice breakfast for you. Baby, i promise i will do that just to make you happy. I will make a pancake with a smiley face on and we can share it together even when we are still with our pajamas on Sunday morning.


I will be there to give you a massage and listen to you talking about your long day at work. I will make sure that your socks is clean and i'll do anything to make you happy. We will spend our Sunday just watching dvd together while cuddling and a nice dinner where we can talk for hours before we kiss good night. I want it all with you. Just you.


Don't let me go. I wont let you go. As long as we keep holding on to each other, nothing will make us apart. Hold me, look me in the eye and say that everything will be fine. That's all im asking for.



I love you...

Wake up call for Pink Pony!

In a moment, everything can change,

Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of your yesterday.


Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,


Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.


All your worries, leave them somewhere else,
Find a dream you can follow,
Reach for something, when there's nothing left,
And the world's feeling hollow.


Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing?
And take control,


Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.


And when you're down and feel alone,
Just want to run away,
Trust yourself and don't give up,
You know you better than anyone else,


In a moment, everything can change,
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait,
Let go of yesterday,


Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine,
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try,


Fly
Forget about the reasons why you can't in life,
And start to try, cause it's your time,
Time to fly.

Title: Fly
By: Hilary Duff

The news about Hilary Duff's pregnancy has become a huge wake up call for me. I was just having my sahur and before i planned to continue my sleep, i checked my twitter timeline that morning and i can't believe what i saw she tweeted. I felt kindda stupid for having that feeling. What do i expected? She has been married for a year already and of course she will be a mother later. I feel like my childhood is over. Everything has changed and it is like a reminder for me to move forward too.

Well im not the only one that has this feeling. The next day Hilary Duff is trending on Twitter and everyone tweeted about her saying that their childhood is definitely over. Glad that i wasn't the only one felt that way. Im happy for her and i hope the baby will be a baby girl and will be as beautiful as she is. It really makes me realized that everything has move forward. Lizzie McGuire is about to be a mother! Kindda bizarre to me!

My cousin tweeted one of her lyrics and suddenly i can't recall back when was the last time i listened to Hilary's songs. It has been a while. Last night, my Hilary Duff playlist on iTunes is on repeat for the whole night and i cant stop watching her music video on youtube. Definitely reminds me back about my childhood.

Her songs are very inspirational and this is one of my favorite from her. The time couldn't be any better as the night before and previous night, i had a hard time and a huge breakdown. Somehow this song is telling me that i gotta stop drowning myself from my past. It is over. I gotta let go of my yesterday no matter how much i want it back.

If i kept thinking about how much i miss my teenage life, the more reasons i can't enjoy the present. It is hard but i have to try the hardest. I cant rewrite my past but i can definitely make a new ending. I am trying to change the way i see this life and i will try to remain optimist as possible but i cant promise that i wont cry. There are times when i just have to let go all my sadness and let it all out. Crying is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you are human, you do have feeling and if you are hurt, you are allowed to cry.

Call me a goodie-goodie. Call me a nerd for saying this but like i said, i wont let other people take control over my happiness anymore. Happiness comes from within. I just wanna breathe and enjoy this life and slowly i am letting go of my past and look forward to my future.

I am a pink pony. Of course i will fly.

Till then, xoxo

Do what makes you happy.

Clearly stated that i wanna do what makes me happy. It may sounds pathetic to others but as long as i didn't give any harm to people or damaging myself, i think that will be okay. Im so done pleasing and kissing people's ass so that they will like me. Even if they like me, that's so not me as a person, you know what i mean? I might end up being someone else and they like me not for who i am and i don't think that is right.


It takes years for me to get out from the nutshell and i have never been happier. Im not hiding of who i am anymore. I blogged, tweets, Tumblring as part of expressing myself. But for some people they might get it wrong. Some of the pictures on my Tumblr are just pictures that i like and some of them has meaning to me but that part is for me to keep it to myself. Im not gonna spill all the dirt to you but its for me to look back in 10 years time maybe?

I remember few years ago, i had a hard time. I was being so hard on myself and i didn't like it. Later, i know that i need to have any kind of distraction whenever im feeling down. I can easily get intimidated by others but as i grew older, i mean more mature, i know that no one is perfect. Each of us, hide at least one scar that you don't want to look at it anymore. But there's a quote that says "Scars means that you survive." Hell yeah i survived.

When i recall back what has happened in my life, somehow i cant stop thinking how the hell i survived that. Well, those scars are still with me but i know that's the thing that keeps me stronger. That's what makes me keep on going cuz i know that i have been too far to give up now.

Right now in my life, all i wanna do is to make myself happy. Even if i have to laugh at some stupid jokes that my friends did. Surprisingly, after that, i feel better. So, if purchasing lots of dvds will make me happy, so be it. If Tumblring everyday makes me calm and peace at heart, let it be. Well, to me that is way better than letting your mind wandering at night. People said that you can be your worst enemy especially when you talk to yourself in the middle of the night. You should just go to sleep already.

I love this feeling and i don't know how to describe it in words. Right now, i don't give a shit of what people will think of me. At times like this, my happiness is what matter the most and not them. They can think whatever they want. Feel free to judge because when i remain silent, i know they feel stupid and that's how i deal with haters. Classy!

Hugs and kisses to everyone in my life. I love each and everyone of you.

God bless!

Muaxxx.